lili_pad ([info]lili_pad) wrote on November 28th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Empty Glasses
Title: Empty Glasses
Author: Lilith ([info]lilithilien)
Fandom & Characters: Alles Was Zählt, Roman
Word Count: 275 words
Rating: Gen
Disclaimer: If Roman and Deniz were mine, Roman wouldn't be nearly so miserable.
A/N: I'm not sure where this angsty little character study came from. It does try to rationalise, somewhat, Roman's turn to the dark side, and it refers to events in ep. 529. Because what else would you do when you run out of hope?



Roman has never been a glass-half-full kind of person. Or even a glass-half-empty, if truth be told. No, his glass is perpetually fractured, any optimism he might once have possessed slowly but surely seeping through unseen fissures.

But that hasn't made him a fatalist, far from it. He might lack Annette's bubbly insistence that he keep refilling his empty glass, or Jenny Steinkamp's entitlement, that assuredness that she needs no glass because the world will always pour her champagne. Still, knowing that luck would always side against him has always inspired Roman to put his all into nursing out those final drops.

That's why, when he first saw a boy loping toward him like a colt just learning to use its legs, his mouth watered with so much want that he forgot his glass could never stay full for long. He forgot it again during that too-short time that Deniz was his, when it felt like he'd be able to drink forever from Deniz's kisses, never running out, never thirsting again. He forgot it a third time as lies swam to the surface, words that filled his lungs and left him gasping for air, his guilt drowning him as he watched Deniz slip away.

He's on his way to Majorca now, to the beautiful beaches and even more beautiful people who laugh carelessly over bottomless glasses of champagne, but his presence lingers like a wisp of cappuccino foam on the edge of a saucer. And Roman is left standing with his coffee going cold, oversweetened and undrinkable, bitterness rising as his last drops of hope trickle away. He won't forget again.


**** The End ****
 
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