04 July 2008 @ 06:22 pm
Stoic  
Title: Stoic
Author: Lilith ([info]lilithilien)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: Never, ever, admit that it hurts.
Word Count: 700 words
Rating: PG (for language)
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.
A/N: This began with a drabble and inspiring picture, but demanded to be more. It's still in pseudo-drabble form (with a 1-2-1-2-1 pattern) because I crave discipline. I hope you enjoy! Thanks to [info]sarcastic_jo for the beta; not sorry I couldn't work in the mpreg for you!


"Does it hurt?"

Not waiting for an answer, his hand stretches toward the bloodied chin, the least of his enemy's wounds, the only one he can bear to look at. Fingers still rank with smoke freeze a fraction of an inch above raw skin, their auras bleeding together but not daring more. Harry winces nonetheless.

"I'm fine," he parries.

"Of course you are. You're Harry Potter."

He means it, but like everything between them, it's misunderstood. Bloodshot eyes glare, glazed and terrible behind spider-webbed spectacles. "Fuck off, Malfoy."

His hand hangs in the air, still frozen, long after Harry's gone.

~~~~~


"Does it hurt?"

Yet another seat-of-his-pants mission and Harry's back at St. Mungo's, his face streaked with newly dried blood that makes Draco feel sixteen again. Makes him want to poke at the raw wound just so Potter will react.

"I'm fine."

The scars pile up like sea lions on a rock, but the answer never varies. "You can admit it hurts, I won't think less of you."

Potter's eyes slam into him, swift as a curse and just as green. "You mean you already think so little of me it won't matter."

Words. Words never have worked for them. They're too sharp-edged, too easy to distort. He wishes they were as supple as the Auror's cheek, as precise as his wand that knits the torn skin. But they're not, so Draco works silently, and he touches, Merlin, how he touches. Something about the freedom to touch Potter makes Draco's heart sing, and without realising it, he hums in harmony.

He freezes when he sees Harry staring, pulls away, blusters, "Well. Try not to get yourself killed, Potter."

"Would you care?"

Draco pauses, thinks, nods. Yes, he would, very much.

Potter leaves, saying nothing, but wearing the most curious smile.

~~~~~


"Does it hurt?"

"It hurts like fuck!" Draco tries to say. What does the idiot expect? Thirty-nine hours with the revenge-bent Lestranges is no one's idea of a holiday.

But only a groan escapes. The words choke in his throat under Rabastan's fingerprints, drown on his still-hexed tongue. Maybe it's for the best. Potter never complains, and somehow, grudgingly, Draco's come to respect him for it.

"Come on, Malfoy, this isn't how we're supposed to end, you and me."

As Apparition tugs him away, something remarkably like a kiss brushes his forehead and Draco wonders when Potter started thinking 'we.'

~~~~~


He awakens hours later at St. Mungo's, not as Healer this time but patient. He awakens to shimmering pain-blocking charms and a deathly tight grip on his once-rebuffed hand.

"You're awake," Potter states, ever obvious. "Does it hurt?"

It's the first time Harry's touched him for no good reason and Draco hardly feels it. With his entire being he wills the sensation to pierce the numbing fog.

"Not too bad. The charms help."

"I never pictured you as stoic," Harry teases, but kindly. Still Draco winces, remembering hippogriffs and childhood taunts.

"Should have, though," Harry continues. "You were always in control. I think that's why I tried so hard to rattle you."

Draco almost laughs. It only takes a thumb tracing slow circles on the back of his hand to rattle him. It only takes an invitation to dinner to shatter his composure.

"C-come again?"

"Dinner, you and me, once you get out."




His words are bold, but words lie. Draco searches for truth in Gryffindor-red cheeks and frantically darting eyes.

"Why?"

Harry's eyes still and Draco sees honesty flare, bright and brave. "Because I think I'd care if you got yourself killed."

It's a reason that, strangely, Draco understands.

~~~~~


Decades as an Auror turn Potter's face into a topographic map.

Decades as a Healer turn Draco into a cartographer.

His hand stretches out, his fingers charting each gleaming rice-white scar, every nick where flesh, too damaged for healing spells, too closely resembles a sock in need of darning. He pictures bruises now healed and once-cracked bones, and the blood, always the blood, that makes Draco care, fiercely, fervently, that Harry not get himself killed.

His lover will never in a million years admit that it hurts, but it doesn't matter, so long as it's Draco's hand he reaches for.


~~~ The End ~~~

 
 
( Post a new comment )
alisanne[info]alisanne on July 4th, 2008 10:40 pm (UTC)
*happy sigh*
Understated and well done. Beautiful job. :)
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 4th, 2008 11:15 pm (UTC)
[info]heathen_ursidae on July 4th, 2008 11:07 pm (UTC)
beautiful!
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 4th, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC)
(Anonymous) on July 4th, 2008 11:12 pm (UTC)
From thrnbrooke
Sooo love this!
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Re: From thrnbrooke - [info]lilithilien on July 4th, 2008 11:30 pm (UTC)
{Johnny Angel}: father and john paul big hugs[info]omarandjohnny on July 5th, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
You make them dance so well, Lil, the push-and-pull of it all is so fantastic!
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 01:43 am (UTC)
(Anonymous) on July 5th, 2008 12:58 am (UTC)
Oh, I loved this so much. The mood and tone of it was perfect.

And these lines:

Decades as an Auror turn Potter's face into a topographic map.

Decades as a Healer turn Draco into a cartographer.


Wow. Struck me still, I tell you. Beautiful!
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 01:44 am (UTC)
inamac: Draco-eye[info]inamac on July 5th, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)
That's beautifully poignant and I love the slow development of their relationship.

And the line The scars pile up like sea lions on a rock is a wonderful image.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 02:51 am (UTC)
(Anonymous) on July 5th, 2008 03:00 am (UTC)
Yes, beautiful. That picture moved me as well. Thank you.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 03:15 am (UTC)
goddessriss: Draco HBP 5[info]goddessriss on July 5th, 2008 03:42 am (UTC)
Oh, Lil, how beautiful this is! I love it. I adore your Draco and Harry, how Draco silently acknowledges that words have never worked for them. This little exchange in particular blew me away:
'"Would you care?"

Draco pauses, thinks, nods. Yes, he would, very much.

Potter leaves, saying nothing, but wearing the most curious smile.'

So lovely. (Also, Wot? No MPREG???)

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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 11:49 am (UTC)
(Anonymous) on July 5th, 2008 05:04 am (UTC)
from prettyhairs
soo lovely and truly awesome!=)
*loves*
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Re: from prettyhairs - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 11:37 am (UTC)
(Anonymous) on July 5th, 2008 08:30 am (UTC)
nice work! ^w^
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 11:37 am (UTC)
hambares[info]hambares on July 5th, 2008 08:33 am (UTC)
Very nice!
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 11:37 am (UTC)
sweetmelodykiss[info]sweetmelodykiss on July 5th, 2008 09:54 am (UTC)
Oh, just lovely! They make the perfect fit.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 11:38 am (UTC)
[info]pushdragon on July 5th, 2008 10:04 am (UTC)
I love everything about this, especially that gorgeous last line. There's some beautiful language, from spider-webbed spectacles to rice-white scars. And I'm such a sucker for repetition of ideas, and the "does it hurt" line is a gorgeous central image.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 12:12 pm (UTC)
(Anonymous) on July 5th, 2008 12:10 pm (UTC)
That is so quietly beautiful.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 12:13 pm (UTC)
(Anonymous) on July 5th, 2008 12:40 pm (UTC)
"Does it hurt?"

"It hurts like fuck!" Draco tries to say.


Made me grin.

"Come on, Malfoy, this isn't how we're supposed to end, you and me."

This rings as a really lovely sentiment and I could hear Canon!Potter saying the same thing :)

Decades as an Auror turn Potter's face into a topographic map.
Decades as a Healer turn Draco into a cartographer.


That's absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. Good job, I enjoyed this.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 01:46 pm (UTC)
Sebastian: H/D - both go down together[info]kabal42 on July 5th, 2008 01:07 pm (UTC)
Beautiful. Lovely words and a great way of showing them with each other. Made me tear up a bit in the good way. Thank you, hon!
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 01:36 pm (UTC)
Snape's Angel: draco[info]angela_snape on July 5th, 2008 01:45 pm (UTC)
I like Draco as a Healer... this is excellent!
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 04:30 pm (UTC)
Vaysh: never immune[info]vaysh11 on July 5th, 2008 01:58 pm (UTC)
Wow - this is gorgeous. The structure, your awesome language, the way you weave hurt and healing into this story of Harry and Draco.
Somehow these lines - Decades as an Auror turn Potter's face into a topographic map. // Decades as a Healer turn Draco into a cartographer. - just blow me away. There is another story in here alltogether.
Thanks for writing, Lil.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 05:19 pm (UTC)
sassy_cissa[info]sassy_cissa on July 5th, 2008 03:36 pm (UTC)
That was stunningly beautiful and almost heartbreaking.

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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 04:29 pm (UTC)
hpstrangelove: HxD by the band[info]hpstrangelove on July 5th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
Well WTF - why did this make me cry??? It doesn't seem like it should be angsty...anyway, great job!
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 05:22 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [info]hpstrangelove on July 5th, 2008 09:31 pm (UTC)
(Anonymous) on July 5th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
Wonderful story. I just love the interaction between the two. Great work.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 05:19 pm (UTC)
[info]jennybliss on July 5th, 2008 10:40 pm (UTC)
Beautiful. This makes my heart sing.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 5th, 2008 11:32 pm (UTC)
[info]drusillas_rain on July 6th, 2008 11:17 am (UTC)
lovely ^_^
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 6th, 2008 05:46 pm (UTC)
rhianona: boy wizard[info]rhianona on July 7th, 2008 04:14 pm (UTC)
Gorgeous evocation of their relationship.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 8th, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
[info]lycias.livejournal.com on July 8th, 2008 10:54 am (UTC)
That was lovely.
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(no subject) - [info]lilithilien on July 9th, 2008 12:44 am (UTC)